Traditionally, hosting a rehearsal dinner the night before your wedding allows you to practice walking down the aisle, coordinate with your wedding party, work out the last-minute details with your officiant, and catch up with close family. Like everything else that comes with the wedding process, the rehearsal dinner requires planning. From who to invite to who receives a gift and who gives a toast, check out our answers to some of your biggest rehearsal dinner questions below.

1. Who plans the rehearsal dinner and who pays?

The groom’s family traditionally plans and pays for the rehearsal dinner. But as gender norms and wedding traditions are shifting in today’s world, it’s becoming more common for couples to plan and pay for their own wedding—and rehearsal dinner.

2. When should you start planning a rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner should be planned before formal invitations are sent out. Ideally, at least 3 to 6 months in advance of the date of your dinner. Talk with your wedding caterer in the early planning stages if you’d like them to provide food, or contact restaurants many months in advance in order to book their private rooms or rent out their entire space for the evening.

3. Where is the rehearsal dinner held?

You can host the rehearsal dinner anywhere from your neighborhood country club to your favorite downtown BBQ joint or a state-of-the-art event venue. Keep in mind your guest list and whether or not they’ve traveled in order to celebrate. If so, try to choose a location that is close to their hotels or the venue where the actual rehearsal will be held.

4. Can the rehearsal dinner be casual?

The dinner can be as formal or as informal as you please. Some couples choose to stick to the theme of their wedding, and some go for a more simple relaxed feel. If you’re thinking you want a chill night before the big day, then go less formal! If you want a similarly-themed extension of the weekend, go formal! Stick to what you feel represents you two best.

5. Who attends the rehearsal dinner?

The wedding party and their plus-ones will need to be a part of the actual wedding rehearsal, so these invites are a must (and this includes the parents of any minors with a role in the ceremony). Couples also typically invite both sets of parents, everyone in the processional, any close friends or family who are active participants in the marriage ceremony, and the guests who are reading or giving speeches during the reception. And don’t forget the officiant!

6. Do you have any advice on how to handle awkward conversations regarding who is and who is not invited to the rehearsal dinner?

The rehearsal dinner is for those actively participating in the wedding rehearsal and their plus-ones. It’s not for every family member, friend, or those who traveled to attend the wedding. If you do have a significant number of guests traveling for the wedding, or if it’s a destination wedding, consider having a welcome party either on a different day or following the rehearsal dinner.

7. Are rehearsal dinner invitations necessary? If so, when should rehearsal dinner invitations be sent?

For a more formal affair? Yes! After the wedding invitations are mailed, your special guests should receive their invites for the rehearsal dinner. If you’re planning a smaller, more casual affair, then you have a little more flexibility, but aim to let your dinner guests know at least 4-6 weeks in advance. This way everyone can make appropriate accommodations, adjust work schedules, or set-up childcare for the weekend.

8. What is a typical rehearsal dinner timeline?

First, the wedding party participates in the actual rehearsal at the venue, and then everyone can enjoy dinner, which typically includes speeches from those close to the couple and thank you speeches from the couple. After dinner, you can meet up and have drinks with wedding guests who were not in the rehearsal, such as those who traveled from out of town.

9. Do I give favors at my rehearsal dinner?

If the couple has gifts for the wedding party, they are typically given at the rehearsal dinner but can also be given on the wedding day. For the bridal party, these gifts may be something to wear while getting ready (think robes) or jewelry to wear with their bridesmaid gowns. For groomsmen, it may be matching socks or watches. If the couple gives a speech thanking the wedding party, gifts can be given after.

If a couple has gifts for their parents, they can give them at the rehearsal or on their wedding day for a more intimate and photo-perfect moment. Couples typically exchange gifts with each other the morning of their wedding.

10. Do we serve cake at the rehearsal dinner?

It’s up to the couple! Dessert is optional, and it certainly doesn’t have to be cake. Less formal dessert tables filled with fruit, cookies, brownies, and other bite-sized treats are a popular option.

11. What should you include on your menu?

Whether you are getting your meal catered or renting out your favorite restaurant, you’ll want to think about the menu ahead of time. If you’re struggling with what to serve, opt for some hometown favorites. Whether that’s Nashville hot chicken, Tex-Mex, or New York style pizza, go for something that represents where you’re from! 

Photos by Mary Rosenbaum.

If you have a vision for your rehearsal dinner and want help getting there – we’d love to talk with you about our Nashville catering and planning services! Send us a message at [email protected].